Women looking and attracted to males bodies >> okey and empowering, lets encourage it
Men looking and attracted to females bodies >> only women are sexually objectified, take it seriously, and banned it
(especially in Asia society)
aktivis
Sexual Abuse of Men and Boys: Lynne MacDonell’s Talk at U of T (Sam Allouba)
On October 9, 2014, the University of Toronto’s Men’s Issues Awareness Society hosted a talk by Lynne MacDonell, who spoke about sexual abuse of men and boys, in particular abuse of boys within the penal system. The talk was sponsored by the Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE, pronounced café). CAFE is a non-profit charity that seeks to address issues of gender inequality in society, with a focus at this time on issues faced by men and boys. The event went well, despite a couple of setbacks beforehand, such as a police presence being required and a venue change.
MacDonell is mental health practitioner, therapist, and men’s support group leader. She is also part of the team that runs MaleSurvivor.org, which is an online support group dedicated to men who are victims of sexual assault. They offer resources, access to health care professionals, and recovery programs for their patients. MacDonell spoke about her time in the mental health field and how she found that, while working in an addiction treatment centre, the one thing that affected the male patients the most was childhood sexual abuse. She sought to understand why this was the case. She also worked with women in this capacity, but eventually realized that female victims had plenty of places to which they could be referred to for further treatment. As one would expect, there weren’t any available to men.
Some of the facts she provided were unsettling, to say the least. Approximately one out of every six men has been sexually abused in their lifetime. It has been reported that 90% of sexual exploitation incidents within juvenile facilities are perpetrated by female guards against young males, according to Josh Vorhees in the National Post. Or if you prefer something more hard-hitting, have a look at this report from the U.S. Bureau of Justice Studies, published in 2012. Specifically, go to page 23 and see table 14. An estimated 92.4% of youth who reported staff sexual misconduct said they were victimized by female facility staff. This sort of behaviour is wrong on so many levels. These women are in positions of authority and they are abusing that authority while they’re supposed to be ensuring a safe environment for the boys in the penal system. If that isn’t rape, I don’t know what is, despite what certain members of academia would like us to believe.
MacDonell also outlined ways in which men cope with their victimization, such as internalizing their problems or believing that they aren’t true victims because they’re men. She pointed out what happens to men who come forward and seek help. If these men aren’t flat-out denied the help they want, then they are told that sexual assault against men is simply impossible by virtue of their being male, or that the institution they have gone to doesn’t know to how to help them. MacDonell believes that the social atmosphere surrounding male victims will change in time, even if people are only just starting to catch on. After all, nothing lasts forever.
CAFE, of course, is famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) for the protests that have been known to accompany their events, most notably in November 2012 when Warren Farrell came to the University of Toronto and again in April 2013 when Paul Nathanson and Kathy Young came to the same campus. Thankfully, this event proceeded without incident. There was one attendee who walked in with two of her friends and, based on the way she presented herself, seemed like the sort of person who was going to cause a scene, but they left about 10 minutes into MacDonell’s talk. I must admit that I was disappointed by that. When you see the video footage from the previously mentioned events as much as I have, part of you eventually starts to wonder if it could happen in reality for a third time. I would like to experience it for myself, just for the sake of it, but I think the esteemed VIPs have decided that being recorded singing about crying rivers over male suicide victims isn’t the best idea in the world.
Ultimately, at the end of the talk, the big question I had for myself (and I suppose I should’ve asked MacDonell this in person) is why do we, as a society, have such a hard time admitting to ourselves that men can be victims and women can be criminals? The thing is, we know both of these things are possible. Even the staunchest, most rabid, misandric feminists know this. But even more moderate people who don’t associate with any kind of ideological group have a hard time admitting either of those things without coming up with some kind of excuse. To my original question, well, I don’t have an answer. I wish I did, but I don’t. I only take solace in the knowledge that there are people like Lynne MacDonell out there giving male victims the help they need and that there is a little bit the rest of us can do too. It’s why I took time out of my Thursday evening. I hope more of us decide to do the same in future.
When women sexually assaulted men
How gendered cultural scripts help conceal and laugh away a legitimate problem.
In news coverage of campus sexual assaults in recent years, scenarios with male victims aren’t depicted too frequently. When they are, the language often looks something like this:
This may seem bizarre that a guy who is presumably laying back and having oral sex and one assumes enjoying it—or at least tolerating it—is not consenting simply by doing that, but under that definition if he didn’t say ‘yes,’ she’s a sexual violator.
That’s the way George Washington University law professor John Banzhaf spoke to U.S. News & World Report about the new
California law requiring colleges and universities to adopt a “yes means yes” standard for their sexual assault policies. Banzhaf’s selection of this particular hypothetical is an obvious one. A description of a man performing sex acts on an unresponsive woman would have raised a lot of red flags for most of us: Is she conscious? Is she too drunk or too afraid to speak up? If the supposed victim is a man, these questions vanish or become a sort of tired parlor joke. The assumption that men always want sex and that women are inevitably more reluctant is so universal in our culture that the unambiguous rape of men by women can serve as a punch line in popular movies.
However, the reality is not humorous: Women do sexually assault men on college campuses, on a regular basis. Each year, according to an estimate in a literature review, roughly 19 to 31 percent of male college students experience some kind of unwanted sexual contact, and researchers say the vast majority of that is perpetrated by women. These men’s experiences usually aren’t as horrific as those of women who are assaulted, but they represent a clear, and mostly hidden, problem. They also contradict standard assumptions and cultural scripts about male aggression and female passivity.
Cindy Struckman-Johnson, a psychology professor at the University of South Dakota, has studied male victims of sexual assault since 1985. Studies showing widespread sexual coercion and assault by women against men, on college campuses and elsewhere, have trickled in consistently for decades, but they haven’t entered the public discussion of sexual violence, she explains. “It’s so contrary to the stereotypes of female behavior,” Struckman-Johnson says. “When you talk to the general public, there’s the idea that this can’t happen. They just can’t put it together.”
THE NOTION THAT SEXUAL assault of a man by a woman is impossible, and even laughable, rests on the same gendered assumptions that are also used to downplay assaults on women by men. Even after decades of feminist activism, many discussions of sexual violence still center on telling women to stay sober and be cautious around men. The ideas behind that advice—the image of men’s sexual desires as constant and all-consuming and of women as the gatekeepers to sex—also makes it impossible for many people to imagine men as victims. If men are always seeking sex, and frequently shot down by disinterested women, then they should be grateful—or at least not traumatized—by any kind of sexual attention from a woman. Taking sexual coercion against men seriously gives us even more reason to fight against those stereotypes.
“For one male that I interviewed it was devastating. He wanted his first time to be with somebody he deeply cared about, that he chose. And she took that away from him.”
Assumptions about male and female sexuality are deeply engrained in the way with think about sexual encounters. Research consistently shows that Americans are more likely to find coercion of men by women acceptable, compared with the reverse. We’re also more apt to label an incident of heterosexual sex as rape if it involves a male aggressor and female victim, perhaps in part because men are seen as more threatening. In some cases, people code coercive behaviors by men as aggressive but coercion by women as romantic and seductive.
News reports and training programs on sexual assault may acknowledge that it’s possible for men to be victims, but they typically focus almost entirely on male-on-female assaults rather than the reverse. “It reinforces the old stereotypes of men being the sexual predator, always sexual, always wanting something,” Struckman-Johnson says.
But, if dismissing sexual assaults against men goes against the evidence, assuming that their experiences are the same as women’s does too. While coercion and assault are surprisingly common experiences for college men, they’re still much more common for college women. A 2003 study that Struckman-Johnson led found that 58 percent of college men had been pressured for sex after saying no (since age 16), but for women that rate was 78 percent.
Women also typically use less violent tactics than men to push for sex. The paper, which considered “post-refusal tactics” including repeated touching, emotional manipulation, intoxication, and violence, found that 22 percent of women and nine percent of men had been physically restrained by a member of the other gender demanding sex.
IN A 1985 SURVEY of University of South Dakota students, Struckman-Johnson asked victims of coercive tactics to describe what happened. In this sample, 55 percent of the female victims reported having physical force used against them, compared with 10 percent of the men.
Among the men’s descriptions is one of a woman who “came over out of the blue just to talk. She started getting fresh, I pushed her off 3-4 times. I said no and told her I didn’t want to do it with her. I gave in. End of story.” Another man described having a woman lock her car door when he tried to leave and said she was able to pressure him into sex partly because they were a distance from town and she was driving. A third wrote: “She layed on top of me when I was drunk and took my clothing off and went to work.” One of the few descriptions of serious violence by women came from a man who wrote that a first-time date grabbed his penis and refused to let go until he had sex with her.
Men who experience sexual assault or other violence by intimate partners are less likely than women to report the incidents to the police. They frequently think no one will believe a woman sexually assaulted them, are embarrassed at not being able to fend off an attack by a woman, or harbor fears of being perceived as “gay” or not masculine for not wanting to have sex, Struckman-Johnson suggests.
The reported effects of coercive experiences are also markedly different for men than women on average. More than a quarter of the male students in the 1985 survey said they had good or very good experiences with the sex despite their initial refusals, while none of the women did. Another 27 percent of the men called the experience bad or very bad, compared with 88 percent of the women. Only 22 percent of men reported bad long-term effects, compared with 78 percent of the women.
Some of the difference in long-term trauma may be related to the lower levels of serious violence faced by the men, but there’s also evidence that men may not always give accurate accounts of the impact of sexual coercion on their lives. Particularly when women are the perpetrators, assumptions about appropriate gender roles may make them less likely to acknowledge lasting effects.
The literature suggests that around one in five men who are sexually coerced experience long-term effects. For those who do, the fallout can be serious, including symptoms of post-traumatic stress. The negative effects are particularly common in cases where older women take advantage of teenage boys, especially when alcohol is involved.
“For one male that I interviewed it was devastating,” Struckman-Johnson says. “He wanted his first time to be with somebody he deeply cared about, that he chose. And she took that away from him.”
Assumptions about male and female sexuality are deeply engrained in the way with think about sexual encounters. Research consistently shows that Americans are more likely to find coercion of men by women acceptable, compared with the reverse.
Violent attacks are also likely to have long-term consequences. Even when a man is physically stronger than his attacker, Struckman-Johnson says, a woman trying to lock him in a room or hitting him can be traumatizing.
“Even if that woman is not terrifically strong, she’s usually pretty terrifying to them,” she says. “They report long-term effects of feeling nervous around women, staying away from relationships, not trusting women…. For both sexes, it can really turn them off of relationships.”
WHO ARE THE WOMEN who commit these kinds of attacks? Some research suggests that sexual aggression in either gender is correlated with a history of sexual abuse, a tendency to see relationships with the opposite sex as adversarial, and higher levels of arousal to depictions of rape.
Struckman-Johnson says there’s not a huge amount of research on female perpetrators, but popular perceptions of men and women’s sexuality may make it easier for women to rationalize sexual aggression.
“Because of the idea that men are sexually oriented and wanting it all the time, it kind of lets them off the hook,” she says. “They get to assume they’ve got a ready and willing partner here who would just love to have sex with them. That is not the case, that’s denying individuality, it’s denying personality, it’s denying people’s rights to choose their sexual situations.”
In fact, college students sometimes seem surprisingly willing to downplay sexual coercion by either gender. In one 2006 study, researchers presented students with scenarios in which “John” and “Carla” are on a date and one of them clearly states that he or she doesn’t want to have sex. The aggressor ends up having sex with the partner anyway, either by threatening to end the relationship, getting him or her drunk, or physically holding the other down. On a seven-point scale of victimization, students rated John at only 4.6 when he was held down, but even in the reverse scenario, the rating for Carla was only 5.18. In contrast, Carla was rated 6.02 for promiscuity in the scenario where she got John drunk.
The study suggests that sexual coercion isn’t particularly worrisome to many college students. If that’s a depressing conclusion, it isn’t necessarily a surprising one. Our cultural stereotypes about men, women, and sex lead directly to that view. If men are constantly, ravenously seeking sex, then it seems as if it’s up to women to protect themselves by staying sober and keeping male friends out of their dorm rooms. And, by the same token, if women are uncharacteristically pushing, or even forcing, men into sex, then it seems like the only acceptable response is gratitude. Throwing out these traditional scripts could mean rethinking sex as something that can, and should, be sought and enjoyed by everyone involved.
Livia Gershon
Livia Gershon is a freelance writer in New Hampshire. She’s a regular contributor to JSTOR Daily and has also written for publications including Salon and Aeon. Follow her on Twitter @liviagershon.
Domestic Violence Public Experiment Double Standard Exposed
Like and SHAREEEEE : D to spread awareness , Equality for MALE TOO
Manwomenmyth-Misandry-Men are Disposable part 2
Credit to manwomenmyth and jockeyVXO
Rape Culture Hysteria On Campus
This proof to us that feminist study can be biased #equality #mensrights
Ini membuktikan bahwa penelitian dan klaim studi gender bisa bias juga #kesetaraan #aktivislakilaki
More shaming? Ehh who cares
Credit to Barbarossaaaa
“I noticed the very same thing years ago when i was a kid at summer camp. One day, they mobilized the whole camp for a big cleaning day and we were cleaning the girls bathrooms and i noticed they had a ton more amenities than the guys bathroom. It was like the girls got first class and the guys had to sit in coach. Not that we were unhappy with our situation, just that it wasn’t equal. If thats cool with everyone, then lets at least be honest about it and say that women need special treatment, that they can’t go camping without being pampered. You can’t claim to be equal AND demand special treatment, ya gotta pick one ladies!” mrkrabappleson qoutes
Why in some of my legal society, ladies cleaner have rights and very free to enter male toilet & see men peeing? Why this okey but the reverse situation- we make men cleaner free to enter female toilet, will be count as sexist and inappropriate? even society will get mad. This is unfair either both are allowed or both are prohibited #equality.
Mengapa sebagian tempat pembersih wanita diizinkan untuk bebas terang-terangan masuk wc pria dan melihat “aktivitas” pria di toilet-pipis dimana jika situasi dibalik akan dianggap ketidakadilan bagi wanita dan pastinya tidak mungkin dilegalkan di Indonesia ini! Ini diskriminasi, idealnya sama-sama tidak melihat bukan? Mengapa masyarakat menganggap “merendahkan” jika terjadi ke wanita tapi “mengokeykan” jika ke pria? #AktivisLaki
Objectification
Mirror from The Ignored Gender Video
Sexy women on media + seen by men= obejctified women or degrading women
Sexy guy (even if more vulgar) on media + seen by women = okey
“Oh because men think dirty!” WTF what is the coleration? its stilll doublestandard
#sexism
Indonesian Subs
Disadur dari Ignored Gender video
Wanita seksi (lokal) di televisi gak sengaja tayang + dilihat pria = tidak menghormati wanita harus sensor
Pria lokal seksi bahkan lebih parah (pake cangcut doank) + dilihat wanita di tv + tiap hari = okey
Parahnya masyarakat menganggap cuma wanita yang ditampilkan vulgar di media
#pilihkasih
Women & Porn – The Double Standard
Mirror from MrRepzion’s Channel
This video talked of what i have think for a long time, yes double standard.
His female friend are against a guy looking at porn (she claim that it was degrading women), but that female- the one who is get pissed off by men looking at porn or female strippers, she herself feel okey to read like “5o Shades Of Grey” (which contain porn story imagination) or feel free to watch “Magic Mike” (Male stripper).
This is double standard why it’s okey for women to see men body but will not okey if the situation where reverse.
Also this unfair perception happen in my society too and from my observation here is more worse because they sexualize women body too much. So you’ll see something contrast here for example my society will loose their shit if our local women dress sexily- showing breast line etc on a public placed. If this happen at television, this would be likely to be blurred or banned especially if it was a local female, remember there’s a big demonstration against Miss World in Indonesia because there’s a bikini show but at the same time their encourage the reverse situation like L-men show at national television (group of local guy exposing their muscular bodies show).
So this means guy are “wrong” for looking at women body even just a breast line (count as harrasing a female) but it’s okey if a girl looking men bodies even if the guy are more naked or vulgar at a television. This is big double standard and i hope this video and article can raise an awareness of this men issues.
Indonesian Sub
Di sadur dari MrRepzion video
MrRepzion menjelaskan apa yang telah saya pikirkan selama ini, standar ganda.
Teman wanitanya sangat anti pada laki-laki yang melihat pornografi (tubuh wanita) tapi wanita ini- yang tidak suka pada pria yang menonton striptis perempuan, dia (cewek) sendiri malah membaca buku 50 Shades Of Grey (novel berbau pornografi) atau merasa bebas menonton film macam “Magic Mike” (Film yang mempertontonkan adegan striptis pria). Ini standar ganda mengapa ada pandangan okey jika perempuan melihat tubuh laki-laki tapi tidak okey jika situasinya sama persis hanya gendernya dibalik?
Dan persepsi tidak adil seperti ini juga terjadi di lingkungan saya dari observasi saya disini malah lebih parah, karena masyarakat terlalu “mensucikan” tubuh wanita sedangkan mendiseksualkan tubuh pria. Jadi anda akan melihat sesuatu yang kontrast disini contohnya di televisi nasional, berita kriminalnya akan selalu menyensor jika ada berita wanita lokal berpakaian seksi-misal terlihat belahan dadanya atau branya terlihat sementara sebaliknya tidak akan disensor bahkan jika prianya sudah bercelana dalam saja (padahal berita kriminal lebih sering memperlihatkan yang pria ber-cd doank).
Atau dalam acara Miss World di Indonesia, show wanita berbikini di tentang dan di demo habis-habisan, “merendahkan wanita katanya” tapi pada saat bersamaan mensosialisasikan acara L-men Dsb (dimana tentang show pamer tubuh para anak muda laki-laki atau pun pria dewasa- menunjukkan tubuh mereka yang atletis / berotot). Jadi salah bagi pria melihat wanita berbikini tapi okey jika gadis, wanita, atau encim melihat tubuh laki-laki bahkan lewat televisi nasional sekalipun?
Ini adalah standar ganda (seksisme) di sistem legal kita- terlepas dari apakah para wanita itu tertarik atau tidak melihat tubuh pria (pasti ada cewek yang suka dan tidak tentunya). Saya harap video dan artikel ini dapat meningkatkan “awareness” pada isu laki-laki ini.
tairanokiyomune 